SELF
The search for self is seemingly endless. We are born in purity, naked and unadorned with the fabric of society that we slowly accrue as we evolve in to the world. This seems to be the closest we will ever come to understanding true self, but we lack the consciousness to understand it.
This lack of consciousness allows us to be misguided by external forces out of our control. From an early age we are taught right from wrong based on the decisions and experience of our elders, whether or not they relate in any way to our time and place on the earth holds no consequence as we lack the mental rigidity to form definitive walls between reality and fantasy. As we are guided down the road predetermined for us we begin to take on the reality of others as our own, stumbling away from any notion that we are animals and as such can wander freely creating our own road map to the future.
Of course as we are brought in to this world without consciousness we also lack the ability to provide for ourselves which is why we are dependent on the maternal guiding of our elders. Our nourishment depends on the likings of those who tend to us, our education relies on the same. We are set on this path due to animal necessity and have no choice in the matter when we enter this realm. In this sense we are stuck on a singular path which requires evolution as we grow to realign ourselves closer to our pure form.
At some undefined point in time we have our fist connection with consciousness, it may be through fear or happiness or pleasure or pain but it comes swiftly shifting your perspective in drastic form. In that moment we realize that life is finite, that our place on this earth is precious, and as such should not be taken for granted sparking an unprecedent search for truth. This point is undefined clearly by the fact that for some it comes early on in life while others don’t see the light until its too late, possibly never.
As we peel back the layers of influence placed on us by years of following we pick morsels of reference from each, for not all is lost in the building through unconsciousness, there is knowledge in each teaching whether wrong or right and with these morsels we can build our vision of the world once again but from a perspective of freedom and connectedness to ones self.
It is still unclear to me whether or not with time you can find yourself truly and freely. The coats of influence built over time seem to leave residue even after they are shaken free but if there is one thing I can unequivocally confirm it is that by tuning out noise to focus strictly on the path your internal dialogue guides you down you will not be left unhappy. Failures will become rewarding for their inherent ability to teach you what not to do, victories will feel deserved but in time become less important than the lessons they provide, and love will start to become reality rather than a piece of some grand puzzle we believe we need to put together following the instructions of those who have passed before.
